Life sucks right now. Okay. I can’t speak for us all but MY life sucks right now.

I would go into great detail but I can’t because there are so many details to go into and y’all know I’m a sprinter and not a distance runner and I would promise to write a post 1 and 2 and maybe 3 about it and then I would get tired of writing and y’all would think that I have ADHD or something but the truth of the matter is that I just got tired of writing.

So.

I’ll just state the obvious. Divorce, Death, or David Hasselhoff have nothing to do with the series of life sucking events.

There was/is an illness…should I even call it an illness? Should I even watch my words with y’all…um…NO. So here’s the deal.  I need a procedure performed to keep Aunt Flo from visiting me as much as she does. Her many visits have me passing out all over the place. That’s not cute when you’re trying to look cute in Target.

I was all scheduled for my procedure…until my insurance company said…

Sorry, but this is a pre-existing condition that you had before us. Better luck next year.

And I was like…

I hate you people and I’m going to die. When I get off this phone with you I’m going to die.

And they were like…

Okay. But before you die be sure that you schedule your surgery one year from now.

And I was like…

Okay. Thanks for nothing. I’m off to die now.

And they were like…

Have a nice day! And If you pressed option 1 to take the survey please hold the line.

Anyway.

It’s not the insurance company’s fault that I let my previous health insurance lapse, and waited too long before I purchased more. WE MUST FOLLOW THE RULES OR THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES. Damn rules!

And Besides.

My family and I have decided that it’s in my best interest to have the surgery performed ASAP. So we’re saving for it. It’s ONLY $6,000. We can do this, right?  That’s like one…two…three…thousand lattes. Who am I kidding. I can’t give up my lattes! Anyone want to buy a husband, 7 kids, and 4 dogs? They’re all in fair condition.

I promise.

It seems that I’m on an unplanned vacation. Believe me. There are NO sandy beaches. So don’t hate me. Anyway. I’ll be back in a few weeks. Thanks for the emails. I appreciate them all. You guys are just magical. Like me.

For the last few days I’ve been stuck at home bedridden. It’s been horrible to say the least. I’ve only had two visitors -Aunt Flo and Cousin Migraine. Do you think they bothered to bring a decent gift? If vomiting, lose of vision, possible blood transfusion, and MICHEAL I CAN SEE THE LIGHT SHOULD I GO TOWARDS IT episodes are the best gifts money can buy, I think they should BURN their money and start over.

Needless to say, It ain’t been pretty over here my friends. It’s been ugly. The exact OPPOSITE of pretty.

I shouldn’t complain. It hasn’t all been bad. I’ve brushed my teeth more times this week, than I have in the last 12 years. Coincidentally, my eldest is 12. The clues are all there. Don’t be lazy just piece them together.

Anyway. It’s time to brush my teeth again. I’M SO FULL OF JOY.