Tweezers And Pliers Look Nothing Alike
After the post office fiasco, I decided to try a new approach to spending individual quality time with the children. Go where nothing is taboo. A place that has seen and heard everything. A place where children threatening to glitter the floors with unmentionables is an everyday occurrence.
WALMART.
If the aisles of Walmart could talk, dear readers. You would hear tales of defeated parents and children full of chagrin. Many parents have entered aisle 1 full of life and hope, only to exit aisle 20 feeling the pains of agony and defeat.
Yep. Walmart was a safe place. I could not be embarrassed…or so I thought.
Feeling pretty confident and boisterous, with my chosen companion, 4 year old Roman. We rocked and rolled down the aisles of Walmart. He had my undivided attention. When I crossed paths with a girlfriend or two, we gave each other the customary, “HEY GIRL,” while keeping the buggies moving. We were each having a good day! Why spoil that with a, “PARENT BEING SHIPPED TO JACKSON ON AISLE 8,” announcement over the intercom? (Down South, Jackson, Mississippi is where our most popular mental facility is housed.)
It just wasn’t worth the risk.
Roman and I, had finished our shopping, and we were about to slide into home plate with no problems. The cashier rang up our purchases and Roman happily handed her the money.
Ah, life was good. Can you smell the roses?
“Goodbye handsome boy,” the cashier said. “Have a nice day!”
“Goodbye lady,” Roman said. “Have a nice day!”
“AND LADY IF YOU WANT TO GET ALL THAT HAIR OFF YOUR FACE, JUST USE PLIERS LIKE MY MAMA DOES!”
Yes. He really said that. No. I don’t use pliers.
ROFLMAO!!! He did not say that????? I”m still laughing.
Now what would you have to blog about if it wasn’t for your little angels? That was hilarious!!!
OMG!! ROFLMAO!! That is freakin’ hilarious!!
Thanks for sharing the story and for the blog comment you left me:)
have a great weekend-hide the pliers haha
I wished my gravatar wouldn’t work on here..I wanna be a cup of joe too haha!!!
Kids are fabulous. Wal Mart is an excellent place to go if your kids are insane.
Yep, it’s official. I am only teaching my son to say Mama and please. That’s it. No language for us…they just use it against you anyway.
OMG that was soo funny! Kids will say the funniest things! Thanks for sharing!
omg, the horror! Horror and hilarity all rolled into one uncomfortable package! You raise some silly ones.
Do you prefer needle-nose or adjustable for your tweezing pleasure?…How funny! Thanks for stopping by today…I just wish our new house had the same acreage as yours…lucky ducky!
duct tape. I never leave home without it
When you’re feeling frumpy and you want to get an instant pick-me-up for your self-esteem…take a trip to Wal-Mart!
I was told once that if your children don’t embarrass you to the point you wanna die at least once a week…well..you’re just not paying attention!
Um, who says we want them to start talking…..
I think I would have choked laughing so hard and then died in horror!! LOL
ROTFLMAO!!! Oh NO!! And you were SO CLOSE to exiting unscathed!
I have no words for this post.
[...] Hot Chocolate Carmel Mocha. Stesha and her husband have a large family and have pledged to spend more one on one time with [...]
Hahaha! Almost spat my lunch out when I read that. Keep up the good work
**LMAO** I’m dying over here! And, I officially *heart* your son!
LMAO!!!
I now have a podcast show in conjunction with my blog and I hope you’ll visit and listen to it!!
Peace & Blessings
I Choose Bliss
Oh no, NO! He did not say that!!
You know those leashes they make for kids? They need to make muzzles as well. Or maybe just filters.
Maybe your kids are conspiring against you. Giving you false hope and then just snatching it away.
I laughed so hard at this. I’ve done embarrassing things to my parents, but never anything as priceless as taking the phrase “can you hold it” literally or giving facial hair removal advice to a female cashier.
You should be a comedian.
OMG! This is so funny! I guess tact has to be learned!
I so can’t believe he said that. Well it’s good to know their are other hairy woman out there. (lol). I’m so nervous of what my little man will say once he start talking.
LOL he did NOT! How can kids do such things?! I feel your pain.
OMG…the things kids say!
This is why I love your blog.
I have something for you over at my blog.
I hope Roman gets Facebook soon so that we can become bestfriends.
ROFLMAO! Quit playin Stesha.u know u need pliers to get that santa claus beard off your chin! LOL! Ever heard of electrolysis? I know you ran out of that store! LOL
LMAO!!!!!! too funny.
OMG!!! LMAO!!! That is too hilarious!!! Why do our kids do these things to us?? WHY?? I always warn my child that if she embarrasses me, I WILL embarrass her. That does the trick, but then again, she IS 7 yrs old. She knows what it’s like to be embarrassed!
Some lines shouldn’t be crossed and Roman reached right over it and did it. Pliers? Awesome!!!
Oh my goodness, I’m crying. That is too funny! Congrats on being the Color of Choice today.
OMGosh! That one had me burst out in an I don’t believe he said that out loud kind of laughter. I don’t know what I would have done had it been me. What did you do?